What the Hell is That?

Came home all fired up after work to begin making homemade soap…bought the book, tools, oils, lye, protective gear, bowls – read the instructions not once, not twice, but three times a lady (old Commodores song). I was prepared. Got ready to mix the ingredients and I needed a scale because soap making uses weight, not volume measurements. Went to the store twice, but apparently it is illegal to sell kitchen scales in my half-ass town. Have to run to the big city, down the hill, tomorrow to purchase such a thing.

Put everything away and will have to wait until after Thanksgiving to make soap. Now what to do tonight? I refuse to turn on the television…so I bring out some books I bought. I am going to learn how to draw.

I have a few skills and natural abilities, but drawing, or even writing my name clearly enough for others to read, is not one of them. From early on, when surrounded in a classroom with a template of perfect cursive alphabet examples for my mind to soak in subconsciously, I couldn’t write. Even today I print everything I write. (By the way, does anyone actually write the capital letter Q like we were taught, some kind of a fancy pants number 2?)

I am challenged by the fine arts. But, damn it, I want to be a well developed human being. Plus, I am reading the new biography on Leonardo Da Vinci and it is full of artistic analysis of his different techniques. Even when the author points out main highlights of a particular work of art- I don’t see it. This cannot be a good thing. I must improve myself.

So…I decided I will begin spending time by at least trying to draw – so that I can become more artistically aware. Perhaps I will begin to see the world and its objects in a more enlightened manner. This would be a good thing I think. “Oh look how the light plays with the shadow of that apple!” Right now all I do is bite the apple and hope it is still crisp, snappy, dare I say…crunchy. I want to “know” the apple, understand its place in this world, and then perhaps eat it.

So I present to you ladies and gentlemen, “The Walnut.” I know I must tell you what it is or you might think it is a rock, or the head of a dinosaur, or an ink blot image used for psychological analysis like, “What do you see there?” “Oh, I see my dear mother in bed with my daddy and it makes me terribly angry. I am going cut off daddy’s one-eyed snake.” Nah, it is just a lousy looking nut.

I will buy the scales tomorrow.