I Am Going Nuts

I am in a very bad mood lately. Rotten actually. It started with a difficult family discussion a week ago. Then I had a situation in my professional life where I had to confront some bad behavior that was aimed at me and as I confronted it, I could feel the anger rise up in me. I didn’t lose my temper, but I expressed myself…passionately. I am still pissed off. It has hung on a bit. Then I had another difficult discussion about budget cuts-you know how those go. Often it is where you see the ugly political nature of your work world. I spent the weekend sanding new peeling paint off our deck that never should have been sold in the first place. My butt cheeks are sore from all the bending over. I have plantar fasciitis that constantly hurts, day and night. I just experienced a sneezing jag from allergies that make my eyes constantly itch and “watery” and the pills I take to avoid it makes me want to sleep all day…. and as I laid down tonight to try to read – my body itched, particularly my head where it feels like I am allergic to a new shampoo.

So I tried again to lay in bed, with a dimmed light, and read something spiritual to give me peace and then a fucking fly starts buzzing my head. It is one those monsters that sounds like a lawnmower. I blow. I’ve had it. That’s it. This piece of shit fly is going to die. Unfortunately I seemed to have lost any quickness and responsiveness and eye movement and coordination because I spend almost ten minutes trying to murder that fly. Almost broke the lamp and other not so sturdy things in the room. Once the fly was on the wall, 12 inches from my eyes and I still missed it and I started sneezing again with a itchy head and sharp needle like pain in my heel. I finally changed my weapon to a magazine and I clipped that mad bomber in mid-air. I was exhausted. Felt like I just went 12 rounds in a boxing match. I know what Elmer Fudd feels like when he goes after that wascally wabbit. I looked at the magazine in my hand. Which one did I grab? God has a serious sick sense of humor.