Bullet Points

  • I am a bullet point kind of guy
  • I hate, I mean, really hate long, descriptive literary pieces.
    • I don’t care about the particular knitting pattern for an argyle sweater that hangs like a stricken dove in the protaganist’s closet which is lined in red cedar in order to prevent the invasive larvae of the cloth moth from doing its insidious damage.   I like Elmore Leonard.
  • I know this person who, before they get to their question, must set up the entire context and sub-plots before getting to the actual purpose of the conversation.
    • As an example, imagine being asked a question about a verse in the Book of Revelations, the last book in the Christian bible, but the question begins with the first verse in the bible, “In the beginning…” and continues through all the biblical verses before getting to the actual question. Kind of like that…
      • As they begin talking. I first feel like strangling them and after overcoming that initial desire, I find my mind wandering far, far away… beyond the known universe.  When they finally get to the question, which is often an important one, I am clueless what it is about.
  • I’ve noticed that many popular ‘advice giving books’ really don’t have much to add after the first chapter or two.
    • One book I read didn’t have much to add after its title. It was a great title, but it should have ended the conversation right there. Later knowing the pain it was going to create for me reading it, I would have bought it if it just had the cover and no pages. Paid full price and moved on with my life.
  • I am currently reading a book on meditation. It is making me anxious.
    • I actually can feel a tightness in my throat as the author repeats the same ideas, over and over and over and over again. Unfortunately my obsessive compulsive tendencies will not allow me to quit reading until I have finished it. Agh…the tightness in my throat!
  • I have noticed that when I give an answer with a simple “No” or “Yes” that the inquier just stares at me and eventually turns away thinking I am a disgusting individual.
  • Why do they have to be called “Bullet Points?” That is just a bad rap.
    • Let’s call them Loving Points or Get to the Point Points or Attention Deficit Disorder Points.
  • Thinking is hard. Your pupils actually dialate and your blood pressure increases.
    • I am taking blood pressure medicine. Maybe if more Bullet Points were used, I wouldn’t even need the medication?
  • I have to go now. I think there might be some kids on my lawn.
    • “Hey,… you kids…get off of my lawn!!!”