I have been trying, always trying, to improve my well-being, especially my health. Being overweight doesn’t seem to bother my self esteem much anymore, but it does bother me in regards to nearly everything else. I kept most of the weight off that I lost in 2017, but didn’t lose anymore in 2018 … so far. As my physician told me once, “You aren’t going to win the swimming suit contest.”
I have been reading a book (always reading three books at a time) titled “The Healing Self” and just finished another book on meditation, “Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics: A 10% Happier How-to Book” and I thought maybe I would give the practice of meditation a go as part of a holistic approach to my eating-ism.
I have enjoyed the practice so far, first using guided meditations concentrating on the breath and now considering the possibility of adding a contemplative prayer to it as I also continue to seek a genuine faith. At work (I work at a university), I try to take a break and sit by a little creek that runs through our campus. The trees and other vegatation provides semi-secluded areas to sit. I have worked on this campus for quite awhile now, so a lot of people know me, or of me, and I feel a little self conscious sometimes just closing my eyes while sitting by the creek.
Today, I decided to keep my eyes softly focused upon the running water as it ran over and by the rocks in the middle of the stream. It was really easy to just focus on the water as it passed by, a constant flow, and I found it to be a good example of just letting the thoughts drift by without attaching anything to them and then returning to the quiet, calmer places in the stream. It was nice…and then I saw a squirel on the opposing bank.
The squirrel was doing what squirrels do. It was gathering, scurrying, darting, climbing, digging. I thought, “Wow, look at the other me.” My thoughts always in motion – ideas, fears, plans. Usually I would be a little negative on myself when I see such a gap in where I am and where I want to be, but not this time. The squirrel was actually fun to watch and I admired its dedication in preparing for a long winter.
Just then a bluejay flew by and landed in a bush close to me. It had an acorn in its beak and looked to be hiding it in the bush, kind of an acorn bank I guess. It kind of reinforced the actions of the squirrel. It is ok to be a squirrel, it is ok to act like a bluejay, just don’t forget about the lessons of the creek either.
With that I went ahead and closed my eyes and spent a few more minutes by the creek, not caring if anyone saw me or not… and I just breathed. When I opened my eyes, the squirrel was gone, the bird was gone, and the tightness in my shoulders was gone too.