Gracie, our 3 year old Goldendoodle, is not the bravest dog in the world. However, since the 29 sheep and 1 goat have moved into the back 3 acres, she’s been acting pretty tough. She bolts out the back door every morning and runs at the herd and the herd takes off, even the goat – but the goat only runs about 10 feet away. Like alcohol makes some men braver than normal, Gracie courage is enhanced knowing there is a fence that separates her from the livestock, so all her threats of kicking sheep ass are just for show. It ain’t gonna happen.
Today, however, the goat, a male goat, with horns, got out of the fenced area. Gracie took off after the goat and the goat just knowingly smiled back with a “Bring it on,” sort of look in her eyes. Gracie had her “oh shit” moment and quickly retreated to the safety of her homo sapien caretaker.
I have grown very fond of this goat and my wife told the owner of my new found affections. The owner said, “Your husband can have it, if he wants. It stinks. All it does is piss and ejaculate on itself all day long. It was bottle fed though, so it is friendlier than the other goats.”
I don’t know whether to be disgusted by the goats’ personal habits, or kind of jealous of such personal freedom along with a very accomplishable daily To Do List. I have absolutely no idea how a goat ejaculates – especially with no female goats around. I don’t think I am ready for that next step in farm-living. I’m going to let her keep her goat. Gracie will be happy.