Interview: Part I

Biographer: What are you afraid of the most?

Me: The most, the very most, the very, very most?

Biographer: Uh, yes, the very, very, very most.

Me: Hmm…I guess…I would… have to say…rats!

Biographer: Rats, why rats?

Me: Actually rats and … bats.

Biographer: Both…equally afraid of…interesting…Why rats and bats?

Me: Because they are both unpredictable in their travel patterns. I am very, very, very much afraid of a rat running up my pant leg. And, bats are just rats that can fly. They are the rats of the air, darting and dashing down at you as you pray they will swerve before landing on your head, biting you, and taking off again. Just too much unpredictability for this guy…oh yeah, catfish, I hate touching catfish too. They are the rats of the river. You touch them in the wrong place and you’ll get hurt… and they grow to be huge, big enough to attach themselves to a grown man’s arm and pull him back into the murky water where he eventually drowns. Yep, rats, bats, and catfish…even tie for 1st place.

Biographer: Rats, bats, and catfish.

Me: Well, maybe being cremated before I am actually dead. Yeah, I gotta put that up there.

Biographer: Huh?

Me: You know how you read about someone being declared dead and then they start moving? I am very ticklish. I want to be thoroughly tickled before being cremated. If I start to laugh, even a slight smirk on my face, or my nose wrinkles up – STOP EVERYTHING!… So where are we? Rats, bats, catfish and being cremated while not quite dead. Yep, I think that is the Big Four Fears.